Huh?

That's not an accurate interpretation about a break up/ broken heart / relationship issue. A girl wont act like that unless she has been really hurt before.

boom boom boom boom

You should vary the kick's beat, i think a kick with more prescence would make the song better, also a hi hat could fit very good in min 3:00.

Hahahaha

HAHAHA THIS IS AWESOME xD

DDDD: ?

This one is a NO NO,
Dude I woulnt even think about putting it to test, I dont want to offend you, i know how much work goes into every test. But a good idea would be to learn melody basics and the flow of a good song, so you can, for example, listen to your favourite trance artist and pay attention on how the song creates expectation, creates different moods, how it gets to the climax of the melody. After some time youll see huge imporvements, Im going to make a demo right now, and ill upload it right away, so you can check out more or less how the tone changes the mood. I like your spirit BTW :) I Love Dreamers, the world needs a lot more dreamers.